Bec Pecaut reframes trans experiences on screen

Have you always wanted to direct? What’s your favourite part of the directing process? 

I have! I wanted to direct since I saw Juno in theatres at around 13 years old. I turned to my dad and said, I want to do that. 'Get pregnant?' he asked. 'No. Make movies!'

My favourite part of the directing process is working with actors. I love people and making friends. Making a friend of my actors is how I bring a story to life, by using my intimate knowledge of the actor to bring authenticity to their character. I challenge them to surprise me, to offer their own interpretation and to channel their lived emotions into a scene. I also love creative problem solving. Usually this is born out of necessity from a lack of resources but sometimes I’ve written something visual that does not “exist” in reality and we as a film team get to invent a solution. 

I have gained so much confidence in my abilities as well as assurance that I have a unique directorial voice and something urgent to say as a filmmaker. 

What does it mean to you to win not just one, but three YDA Golds? 

Winning three YDA Golds is a huge honour. Before this film, I was more insecure about my directing abilities. Through making the film and watching its warm reception around the world, I have gained so much confidence in my abilities as well as assurance that I have a unique directorial voice and something urgent to say as a filmmaker. 

Can you walk us through the film’s journey from ideation to completion? 

The period of recovery after major surgery is a strange sort of purgatory. You are no longer in the anticipation of change, nor the space where change has settled and become integrated as the new reality. You are simply healing. I recognised in this experience something universal and had a strong desire to share it. Are You Scared… is a creative fictional retelling of my experience getting top surgery in May of 2022 and dealing with some confusing emotions in the immediate aftermath. 

This was a beautiful full circle moment for me, as TIFF was the festival I grew up going to and dreamed of premiering in one day.

I completed a draft of the script in the Fall of 2022 and we began the casting process in early 2023. We cast Lío Mehiel in the lead and anchored the rest of the cast around them. We shot for 3 days in September of 2023 and completed the edit in the Spring of 2024. Our premiere was at TIFF 2024, a year to the day we wrapped filming! This was a beautiful full circle moment for me, as TIFF was the festival I grew up going to and dreamed of premiering in one day.

Could you tell us about the casting process and how you chose your key actors? 

We knew while developing this film that we would not be able to make it without finding a strong performer who had also lived this experience. Through our Instagram casting call I had the exciting opportunity to connect with and cast the transmasc non-binary actor, Lío Mehiel. Lío had recently received the award for best actor at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival - a historic feat, as the first trans person to ever win this award. They are a rising star within the industry who was completely taken with this script and the story we're trying to tell. I cannot stress enough how few actors of this caliber there are that fit the specific and necessary qualifications for this role. In working with them, the film developed into an artistic collaboration of likeminded trans individuals.

 I cannot stress enough how few actors of this caliber there are that fit the specific and necessary qualifications for this role. 

I was connected to Sadie Scott, who plays Kat, through a mutual friend. Sadie impressed me with their naturalness and candor. Phyllis Ellis, who plays the mother, is actually a celebrated Canadian documentarian who does not principally act. I had seen her in a web series and hounded her until she agreed to do the film.

The cast is a delicate “tripod” of complicated relations. The characters needed to exhibit a strong degree of familiarity as well as the idiosyncratic dynamics that constitute real familial and romantic relationships. Through the rehearsal process with these talented actors, I quickly understood they had strong chemistry. It’s this ineffable quality of familiarity they share that gives the whole piece the suggestion of deeper existence beyond this moment in time. 

Given the film’s focus on gender identity and transitioning, how did you ensure these stories were told with honesty and care? 

As a queer and trans artist myself, I focused on creating something that felt true to me and my lived experience. I do not pretend to speak for all transgender people, but I hoped that in creating something specific to my experience with transition, it could expand the conversation. I think there is a fear that we can’t say anything negative about transition as trans people because we are supposed to be grateful for whatever human rights are afforded us. But without acknowledging the harder parts of this experience, we risk isolating trans people instead of integrating them. 

It can be challenging as a writer and director to watch your carefully chosen dialogue or perfect chiaroscuro lighting fall to the cutting room floor. But it’s always worth it. 

What was the highlight and most challenging aspect of its creation? 

The highlight was the 3 days on set! I love being on set, working with all the energies of the cast and crew. All our collective effort and talents centred towards a shared goal. It’s an electric, life-giving feeling. 

The most challenging aspect of the film’s creation was the edit. As is commonly the case, we had too much in the script and in the production. We had to kill darlings in the edit to distill the piece into its most impactful self. It can be challenging as a writer and director to watch your carefully chosen dialogue or perfect chiaroscuro lighting fall to the cutting room floor. But it’s always worth it. 

Your film won the ‘Changing the World Frame by Frame’ category – what impact do you hope it'll will have on the world?  

The film was born from the lack of nuanced and specific depictions of trans experiences on screen. However, these experiences are not limited to the physical form and I am also interested in how we as trans people in a state of self-actualising flux, relate to those closest to us. The natural tension existing between individual identity and family is a fundamental playground of my artistic practice.

I wanted to make a film that has grace for everyone involved in the process of transition, including our partners, family members and friends. I think anyone who has gone through a major surgery and is forced to rely on other people can relate to the main character’s anxiety. It’s really a human story. And that’s how trans people need to be viewed, as humans (not political talking points).

 The natural tension existing between individual identity and family is a fundamental playground of my artistic practice. 

What’s next for you?  

Next I am revising a feature film I’ve been working on for the last decade. It’s not an extension of the short, but maybe you could think of it as a prequel…It’s another creative retelling of a time in my life. Very personal and vulnerable, with a hint of experimental. So definitely still my style!